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*豬籠草園*17/11/2009 简单的幸福不懂做么 觉得昨天好像很幸福酱。。。 昨天我有两堂课,一个living anatomy 和一个解剖课 中间有两个小时休息 原本我打算早餐吃饱一点然后不吃午餐的,反正12点才上第一堂课 然后living anatomy 的时候jeremy 发简讯给我问我要不要回家吃午餐 他煮“英式早餐”当午餐 结果我就回家吃了 吃完后我原本打算洗碟的 可是danny却说他洗 呵呵 然后晚上danny做了一顿蛮丰富的晚餐 他觉得跟平时的晚餐没有差别,可是我觉得有咯 平时只有3道菜,而今晚有4道 而且有一个很好吃的mashed potatoes 我都还不知道原来署泥可以这样烘的,而且很好吃咯 而且这一个晚餐全部flatmates一起吃咧 是全部噢。。 哈哈。。。 加上,今天子荟突然向我要地址,说有东西要寄给我 我问她是什么 她说我收到就知道咯 嗯。。。还蛮好奇的。。。 还有还有,昨天chew fatt在church给我的lime and honey 因为星期六晚上我们在shen wei家的时候他知道我咳嗽 所以 总的来说 我也不懂为什么 可是就是觉得这天很幸福 ^^ 就觉得很被爱的感觉 虽然前几天还是偶尔会有种寂寞的感觉。。。 毕竟都是不在家嘛。。。 可是其实整体来说大二还蛮不错一下 可以感觉到一切都在随它应该发展得方向发展 (应该是吧>.<) 嗯。。。只是最近还蛮想念辣椒和番茄哥哥的 会有点担心以后我们会不会很疏远咯 可是昨天读书读到读不下的时候打电话给他跟他谈了一个小时多的天还蛮开心的 =) 02/11/2009 bye jin li...As I walked back t 12 spenceley from parky at night yesterday, after almost spending my whole day sleeping in nottingham, i took a glance at my room. nope, the light wasn't on. well, of course it wasn't... it was just a habit, to "stalk" on jin li, to see whether she's home lol it feels empty. although she did sleep over at friends' places before or there were times when she wasn't at home when i stepped into my room, but it's just different. it's different, because reality struck me, so that i know, that it's not the same, and it's back to the lonely days. well, it's not that i don't have other friends in leeds, but the leaving of a roommate is just... different and significant. her leaving might not have much effects to certain people, but to me, i really do feel it. the room looks big now, so BIG that i've never thought it would be. the table looks wider now, from having to fit in 2 laptops to only one. but these are just little things, that can't be compared to some others... it was the end of having my 1st roommate ever. 1 month is short, but it's long enough to have loads of good memories left behind for me. this one month feels like a 2nd chance to me, to compensate for what haven't been done enough, for what have been wrong, for things between us to change and for 2 friends to become sisters. for these, i'm happy that this one month had been a great one in my 2nd year. =) Now that Jin Li left, there are surely differences in life. One less person to rely on, to ask opinions for (well, maybe I still can, just that I might not be able to get instant answers), to pillow talk with and to whine to. Hence, on the other hand I kind of feel like it's time for me to grow up and stay strong again, compared to the past one month when I could be a "mummy's little girl". I have to have more discipline too I guess, as there are tonnes of work waiting for me to get started on. So yea, need to stop here to get on to upper limb anatomy 3 (the forearm). All the best Jin Li. For sure, 12 Spenceley is not gonna be the same after you left. We do miss you >< BUT, your home will not be the same too, with you BACK there. Continue to shine, and bring joy and happiness to people back home!!! I shall see you in about 8 months time!! xx 10/10/2009 19 岁的第二个星期现在我最想念的 是妈妈的粥 (我们曾称之为“生病粥”) =P 自从回来到现在 我都还没有怎么想家 现在感觉有点淡淡的想念了 不会想得哭的稀里哗啦 就只是 纯粹 想。。。 知道一切只要照着这条路走 不会有事的 时间到了 自然就会见到大家啦 另外一个不会太过于想家的原因大概是 因为我现在感觉也住在一个家庭里面 在一个不会太大,有点破旧的公寓里面 (可能没有那么夸张啦,反正就不是很豪华的那种) 虽然不是住在排屋(之前觉得住house好像比较好) 但是现在住在flat其实也很好咯 因为不用上下楼就可以跟所有人沟通^^ 昨天我病了 是有点突然 就有点来得快去得也快的感觉 从傍晚觉得头晕开始,到晚上发烧 然后睡一觉醒来后现在差不多没事了 只是想在家休息多点 大概所有的计划都会取消掉吧 有想过 可能我也把太多“节目”塞进生活里了 让我病一晚 有点回到原点的感觉 可以静下来休息一下 应该算是好事吧 加上呢 有点感动下 昨晚在cell的时候有好多人替我祷告 还有在利兹的“家人”的关心 感觉 其实很幸福一下 呵呵。。。 对咯 其实很多人(算是很多一下吧)说我变了 荟说我比较乐观,比较积极了 hannah也说了一些我的变化 虽然我无法概括我所有的变化是什么,但是。。。 嗯。。。我应该是认同我的确有点不一样了(比起之前的我) 我想 暑假时的北塘计划 不多不少也是有帮助的 觉得当我有时候拿起了一份责任后 在执行一些事情或经历整个过程时总是会看见自己长大了 (不是很会表达。。。><) 就像。。。当了学会的秘书后,大概也因此而长大了一点吧。。。=) 至于sotong的comment,说我的文字让她觉得我很珍惜生活 嗯。。。我不知道自己是否真的有做到 可是我想要追求的,大概就是那一份简单吧。。。 如果我能够珍惜每一份简单的开心 那就好了 希望19岁的天空 会是晴朗、附有一道彩虹的 05/10/2009 回来leeds以后其实现在比较想打英文,可是又不想。。。=.=
其实也不知道要写什么 就纯粹为了想写些东西而写
算是回来英国之后的所思所想吧
就在这种半夜所有人睡了以后我独自在这里用电脑的时候,感觉上才能静静的想东西。。。
好像很久没有这样了。。。
我整个暑假都没有写过blog(好像有一篇。。。),而现在已经回来leeds超过3个星期了。。。
回来后玩了一个星期,跟eewen没见一年后的冲锋并没有很多不能适应的地方,反而有一见如故的感觉
而跟她,子荟,henna在一起闹的情况不但没有尴尬,没有怪怪的感觉,而且还很融洽一下下
还蛮意外和庆幸的,因为通常如果是来自不同背景的朋友聚在一起的时候都会好像很奇怪,不懂要顾及哪一边的感觉
可是这一次却是无论谁和谁说话都合得来,包括初次见面的eewen和子荟,呵呵。。。
他们分别回去manchester和ireland之后,不久我就开学了
很多seniors说医学院的第二和第三年是最轻松的
可是不知道为什么我开学到现在都还蛮担心紧张的
感觉也好像没有一天是不忙不累的。。。
有时候明明有时间温习了,可是我却没有心情读书
然后到要搞学会的事情的时候我又在担心没有时间读书。。。
看见朋友在复习或是能够记得解剖课所学的名词而我却记不起的时候,我更是感觉到那份压力。。。
可是有时候压力却无法转换为动力
反而使转换为低落的心情等。。。
这好像不是一个很好的现象。。。可是它却在发生中。。。
很希望很希望,从明天开始我能够比较好地安排我的时间了。。。
虽然我每天都在这么说但却没有做到。。。
嗯。。。感觉有很多很多东西等着我去做咯。。。
跟暑假的时候有着很大的对比。。。
可是我却还有一种好像自己还在放假的感觉=.=
嗯。。。今年搬到一个相对之下很靠近大学的一个单位了
跟去年可以说是有着很大的差别。。。
真正长期跟朋友住在一起,我这还是第一次
有很多好处,有一丁点的不好
可是整体来说我还是挺满足这样的安排的^^
只是希望我的自制能力能够高一些咯。。。
massoc方面呢。。。讲真我本身是人为到目前为止一切都还蛮顺利的。。。
至少没有什么大问题
目前办了2次正式的活动(citytour & welcome lunch和massoc get-together,就一个聚会这样子)
2次我都觉得不错
希望一整年下来都不会有什么政治元素咯。。。
那天听朋友说关于国际学校里的一些政治(因为很多大人物的孩子在里头就读)
真的很庆幸我那时还是进了坤成 哈哈。。。
噢,对了。。。那天我的生日过得很不错一下
不懂是不是长大了还是老了==
今年也没有期待什么东西,也不会好像小时候(其实也没有很小啦)那样觉得生日是什么很大的事情
不过就过了一个很简单很sweet的生日
有人在msn和facebook祝我生日快乐
礼物也收了不少(家人和朋友在我还没有回来英国之前就送了=P)
可是最值得开心的是,在那一天结束之际,我好像有些东西想通了
知道想要朝向的方向对那阵子的我来说是一个很大的迈进。。。
而现在则等待着懂得怎样去实行的时候到来。。。
在leeds真的终于第二年了
有时候还是不习惯告诉别人说我是year2的,还是会很习惯性的把自己归类为大一生。。。
那天lccc的welcome night的时候觉得真的。。。去年我以新生的身份来参与的时候又怎么会想到今年我会帮忙服事呢
就像我现在也一样无法预测,我明年真的能够升大三 在各方面都能够继续进步吗
昨天是中秋节 在这边可以说是一点气氛也感觉不到
只是很开心听到家人打来的电话
每个人都在家,他们在k房庆祝 这样就好了^^
目前为止还没有很想家啦。。。
觉得日子每天都这样过
很忙很忙
忙到有点压力 (有点内疚,因为有时候搞到殃及池鱼 lol)
连妈妈的email我都还没有有时间回复。。。
忙得我要先在凌晨4点了才来写blog lol
不过开心我做完了明天解剖课要准备的东西,而且大体上还算明白全部东西
明天的时间表其实还不错,下午才有课 (可是是连续3个小时。。。)
如果能够早起的话早上就去学校在massoc的摊位帮忙咯
嗯 电脑快要没有电了
也该睡了
晚安咯 =)
19/08/2009 beitang project 09just typed this for kc blog, but think it's quite suitable to be posted on this blog too, so that i don't need to retype most things, hehe... below is like a summary of the things that i've been through in china: =D
暑假回来马来西亚2个星期后我就去了中国,然后呆足了30天我才回来(刚好签证只允许我留30天,呵呵),结果在中国大部分的时间都没有上网,也很久没有上这个blog了。
然后就在一个星期日,我们一共22个分别来自中大、英国利兹大学(leeds uni)和英国布里斯托大学(bristol uni)的医学生一起往北塘前进。所谓北塘,就是在广东省北部的大埔。我们搭了一辆还不错的巴士到了梅州后转了一辆很不presentable的小巴去大埔。加上迷路的时间,我们一共花了差不多7个小时才到达我们接下来一个星期的住处-辅德堂。那是一个很古老的大屋,应该是一间围笼屋,也就是里头有很多很多间房的,以前是一间房居住着一户人家的。在那里睡的是铺有席子的木板床,说真的一开始真的很不习惯,可是习惯以后觉得还不错啦。那个地方超级热的,每天都等到晚上才洗澡,以免洗了后又流汗>< 加上那边很多蚊子,单单一个脚就有超过20个被蚊子叮的印 T.T 可是那边夜晚的星空很美很美。我们在那边看见了北斗七星,星星多得像空气中的灰尘的天空还有我曾经误以为是流星的萤火虫,哈哈~
24/06/2009 24th june 091 day before i leave leeds for malaysia...
it's the last day of my 1st year in leeds... after days of going out, mixing around etc, finally i have this last day to stay in a room and rot, it's not my room though, i'm staying in hannah's room for 2 nights as i'm theoretically homeless now>< woke up at 1.43pm, cuz i felt like i should wake up although i felt like just sleeping for the whole day. after checking mails and all, i got very bored, not feeling like doing anything although i have loads of things to do... laundry, remaining of my packing, shifting stuffs to the new place, massoc last meeting (in April/May)'s minutes=.= etc... thinking of going back HOME, it feels so different from what i thought i would months ago..
Recalling one of the Roots and Wings' lesson... Vanity of Vanities... it's routine which causes the boredom, the meaninglessness, but somehow I felt that routine had provided me the sense of security. When I get back to KL, there'll be no more routines for that 2 months plus, all I'm left with at this moment are uncertainties, which led to insecurity and once again, worries. I'm almost bored of the repeating worries, which pop out due to things that haven't even happened yet, which are kind of my imaginations, the imaginations which might come true... 10/06/2009 考试啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊~~~~~~oh no..................it's already wednesday!!!!!!!! but here i am, blogging again, on the day right before exam, just like last week... 好像很得空酱~~ 可是其实没有咯。。。 整个第二学期的笔记还没有动,还有第一个学期的10个lectures,你说我得空没有??? 可是。。。很不想读书啊~~~连续看了几份笔记后就想吐了==唉。。。
觉得我的写作很马来西亚的感觉。。。哈哈。。。
就语法不对,然后完全马来西亚人讲话的感觉咯==
显啊。。。
现在满脑子是考完试过后的东西
读不到几面就开始神游
花了整整5天在第一学期的东西。。。
剩下星期三要啃完第二学期的东西
有可能咩?????????
刚翻了下study guide:
questions will be drawn from BMS1, I&P1, Transport and N&E. Proportions: 30% BMS1, 20% I&P1, 25% transport and 25% N&E. Candidates do not need to pass each paper separately nor do they need to achieve a pass on each contributing ICU.
嗯。。。对我现在的情况来讲,应该还是可以及格的。。。 哈哈哈。。。对,我已经开始在用这样的方式来分析我得及格率了== 虽然读书本来就不应该是这样的。。。如果。。。如果我所读过的我都能够运用和记起来的话。。。我现在可以不用继续读了咯(如果我只要及格的话),哈哈哈。。。 可是事实上不可能咯。。。所以。。。唉。。。读到多少就多少咯。。。希望BMS,N&E和I&P要好好帮补我的transport啊。。。虽然I&P很不可靠下。。。。
还有咧。。。 我想早点回马来西亚。。。应该六月二十多号。。。 然后呆两个多星期就去中国。。。 虽然我昨天一直在怀疑我到底在做对的东西吗等等,但是我想应该还是会去吧。。。可是应该完了在广州和湄州的计划后就回家咯。。。毕竟暑假的最终目的还是回家。。。 希望。。。希望他们不会觉得我这样的安排很。。。“败家”== 因为我自己觉得有一点咯。。。
希望下个星期三我会是开心的。。。我们会是开心的。。。
不过还真不可思议咧。。。终于终于。。。到了快要考试的时候了。。。到了大一快要完结的时候了。。。 曾经觉得是多么的遥远。。。 大二其实像起来还蛮恐怖的。。。 接下来的这一年,应该就真的是要在英国渡过整整九个月了。。。
我很希望很希望。。。当我会去的时候,所有的人。。。所有我在乎的人。。。都能够接受和尊重我的改变。我知道我曾经做不到,而现在却要别人做同样的事情好像很多要求酱。。。 可是还是很希望咯。。。
差不多懒了整个小时了。。。该会去当书虫了。。。虽然这几天我设的读书目标没有一次是能够按时完成的,但还是希望我现在能够在睡之前读完所剩的BMS的部分。。。加油啦,君。。。 04/06/2009 11 hours and 4 minutes before anatomy spot test...I miss S3 Jan 07. I miss Sunway. I miss college times. I miss Pyramid, our hang out place. I miss Kuen Cheng. I miss the 8 ren bang which existed... I miss home. I miss the lecturers. I miss Leisure Mall. I miss pasar malam. I miss yaya's house's gatherings. I miss TS. I miss A Levels. I miss SPM. I miss Love Story. I miss the cards, the cakes, the songs, the celebrations, the pranks. I miss the chattings over the phone. I miss the sleepovers. I miss snoopy. I miss mum's cookings. I miss RM=.= I miss bros, dad and mum. I miss the rooms where I could go to. I miss Sr. 1 Sc A and Sr. 2 Sc A. (seniors... which sound so grown up, but actually when we look back, we weren't really so) I miss the canteen's food, the cheap yet nice ones. I miss wong kok, the place for la jiao ge ge and me. I miss the Accord and Myvi. I miss mummy's car, the only car that I can drive. I miss the old house, which was sold. I miss the chicken rice shop, which I don't know whether it still exists. I miss OUR OWN CHILDHOOD, which was so different from others, yet so unique. I miss the smiles and laughters, that only WE understand. I miss the boring physics class, which I never felt guilty to fall asleep in. I miss the tuition classes, which I had so much of freedom. I miss my tuition teacher who would answer my questions when I called during midnight. I miss KC band, although I was only part of them for 2 years. I miss Monash, though it never was my uni. I miss the food. I miss the people.
The list would go on and on... I do miss them, BUT luckily in a good, healthy way =)
Things are not gonna be 100% the same, but I can CHOOSE TO BELIEVE that they change for good... although sometimes it's hard to believe while doubting. it's just like a feedback loop though. i doubt, but i know i have to believe, so the believing inhibits doubt, and "believe" will feedback to itself positively, which produce more faith lol yea, sometimes it does work this way, haha...
I can look back, so easily, but it's sometimes hard to look what's in front of me. but it's alright, as long as I'm now assured, that things will be fine. They will be... so... will leave that aside 1st. really looking forward to summer break!!!
but for now, it's HISTOLOGY TIME... have been "resting" for a long time already... Exam in 11 hours time... 03/06/2009 ?Will that day ever come?? I wonder...
I know... I am not concentrating in my studies........ 1 more day til anatomy spot test... 1 more week til integrated exam..... 2 more weeks til 1st year ends officially, IF nothing goes wrong... 24/05/2009 in the midst of examsEXAMS!!!!!!!!
everyone is talking about exams nowadays, and almost everyone is stressed becaused of it. this is what happens when there's only one system in UK - the UK system =.= unlike malaysia, where we'll all have different exam periods and term times and that makes us facing difficulties gathering and meeting up>.<
anyway, this is not the main emphasis... i know!!! exam's coming!!! and hence... this is when time becomes more precious, and i have to compete with it!!! every second is valuable (i know i shouldnt be blogging... but humans need rest right??? hmm...)
exams will be on 4th june and 11th june... i'm not sure whether it's possible to finish everything, but i think it's good to have encounter weekend which allows me to keep on reminding myself that i have lesser time to study than others, that's why i'll have to start earlier and work harder!!! (but it's a different case when it comes to whether i can make it or not...) and i'm really unhappy about the fact that i still have to deal with things like work sessions etc's prep work AND SSC!!!!!!!! good thing i finished the work session prep work just now, 3.5 hours in total for the final 2 prep work... 3.5 hours... i just can't beat the fact that i'm a "slow worker"T.T and now i'm left with the living anatomy one, arghh.... how to keep up with both these and revisions?????
so far... i've started my revision on time, but didnt really kept up with it. finished going through I&P, which should theoretically be done yesterday, but it was completed today. did the practice questions - got 7/15 for EMQ (which is a fail, obviously...) and 19/26 for MCQ (luckily i pass this), so if i convert it to an overall score, it'll be about 63%... fine... sufficient to pass, although it will be a bare pass, if the passing mark is 60%. but i just don't bother to put too much effort into this module>.< though a bit sad that after all the "sacrifice of time" for I&P, i still got 7/15 for EMQT.T aww.. i really hate EMQ... i think the overall statistics will be much better if the integrated exam only consist of MCQ.. with the whole normal distribution curve shifting to the right lol anyway, i should be grateful that its MCQ and EMQ, not essays...
i don't know whether its just me, but i always feel that i got HARD SSC topics=.= last term's drug profile project nearly killed meT.T which is part of the reasons why i decided to ignore this term's self-directed learning of filling in the drug profiles for like 20 drugs, if i'm not mistaken?? and then this term we had to hand in 1 worksheet per week, which i thought was quite a good idea, so that i wont have to cram everything to rght before the deadline due to my poor time management, but i wonder why it seems to be so much work to do?????? experiment after experiment.. and then results, calculations and discussions... with hundreds of marks allocated for each worksheet... and then.. finally comes the metabolism worksheet... which will have to be handed in next wednesday... alright... carbamazepine... guess i will remember this drug in the time to come just because of this SSC... (it's sunday now and i havent started working on it yet...) ok ok ... i should be glad that i have seniors who did the same SSC as me, so that i can "refer" to their work for previous worksheets (not for the final ones)... hence, the point is... i shoudnt be complaning here anymore!!!!!
oh well... gonna go shower now.. 2.24am in the morning hmm... life in uk, without the need to worry that parents will scold me for bathing at such a time/staying up until this time/blogging at this time when i have so much more other things that i should do... BUT, hmm... somehow i still misses home, although not til the extent of... "too much"??? (the healthy way of missing home lol)
what's after this??? perhaps living anatomy... ?? or biological molecules?? gonna decide later, while showering i guess>.< gonna work on SSC tomorrow, and GET RID OF IT, preferable on tmr itself, if possible!!!!!! k.. leaving now... anyone reading this... wish me all the best for my exam k? hehe.. =) (looking forward to next weekend and summer break, wakaka~~~) |
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